CHAPTER 10

Toilet Training

Let’s be honest with each other. You don’t need us to tell you that toilet training is among the most important skills your child needs to learn. Nor do we have to tell you that teaching your child how to go to the bathroom isn’t much fun. It involves a good deal of your time and a willingness to put up with many frustrations and setbacks along the way. You know this already. Chances are you’ve already tried one strategy or another to make your child behave in the bathroom “like a big boy (or girl).” Yet the never-ending changing of clothes and the occasional embarrassments still continue. Chances are, too, that your child may be unable to participate in certain programs or activities that have, as their only price of admission, “the completely trained child.” Toilet training simply isn’t easy. There are no shortcuts and, frankly, there’s very little excitement. Instead, a commitment needs to be made and a set of systematic procedures needs to be followed. This chapter is designed to help you do both.

SKILLS INVOLVED IN TOILETING

Often when we think of toilet training we think of dry, clean pants . . . and little else. In fact, however, the child who is completely trained has learned more than how to eliminate in the toilet. Much more. This child can perform each of the following skills:

1. Recognizing the need to go
2. Waiting to eliminate
3. Entering the bathroom
4. Pulling pants down
5. Sitting on the toilet
6. Eliminating in the toilet
7. Using toilet paper correctly
8. Pulling pants back up
9. Flushing the toilet
10. Washing hands
11. Drying hands

Your child may already have learned to perform some of these skills and, as you work through your training program, you will want to give him every chance to complete these on his own. Then again, he may not yet know how to do any of these skills. At this point, you shouldn’t worry about that. Your initial goal will be to teach him one skill only: eliminating in the toilet. At first you may need to do most or all of the other skills for him. Later, you can gradually begin to teach him the other skills that combine to make up complete toilet training.

IS YOUR CHILD READY?

Your child is ready to learn toilet training if he:

1. Can follow simple directions (“Come here, Billy”)
2. Can sit in a chair for 5 minutes
3. Can wait at least 1.5 hours between elimination times (before beginning urine training)

Note: If your child cannot yet follow simple directions or sit for 5 minutes, you should first concentrate on teaching these skills (see Chapter 8).

MAKE YOUR DECISION

Whether you have never before tried to toilet train your child or whether you have tried before but had little success, make the decision right now to learn the approach and stick with it. As many parents have discovered, the end result will prove well worth the effort. Remember, no one else can toilet train your child for you; it’s an around-the-clock task, and your child spends most of his time with you. To be successful, though, you’ll have to be consistent. This means enlisting the help of other people with whom your child spends his day—a babysitter, neighbors, a teacher, and, of course, other family members.

Parent to Parent

Our parent “co-workers” had several important suggestions for us to pass along to you:

• Whitney’s mother said we could not stress enough that toilet training is a slow and gradual process, with any number of setbacks.
• Rafael’s mother spoke for a number of parents when she recalled how important careful record keeping was for their eventual success.
• Scott’s father pointed out how the whole family benefited from being involved in Scott’s success.

RECORD KEEPING

Recording Eliminations

If your child is already on a good “potty schedule” such that he eliminates in the toilet when you take him regularly and he never has daytime accidents, skip ahead to the section on Independent Toileting (p. 95). Otherwise, your first and most important step in toilet training your child is to find out his elimination pattern—the times each day when he is most likely to wet and/or soil his pants. You can begin a systematic program to train your child only after you know his elimination pattern. To determine your child’s pattern, you should keep a record for 2 weeks of the times he urinates or has a bowel movement. You will begin toilet training only after this 2-week period.

What to Do for 2 Weeks

1. Continue during this 2-week period to handle toileting as you have been. If you have not been bringing your child to the toilet, don’t start to do so yet.
2. Check your child when he first gets up in the morning to see if he is dry, if he has urinated, or if he has had a bowel movement in his diaper.
3. Check him again 1 hour later, and continue to check him every hour until he goes to bed.
4. Record each time whether he is dry, has urinated, or has had a bowel movement.
5. Change him if he is wet or soiled when you check him.

How to Keep Your Record

The Elimination Record is for you to use to keep a record. After you have read the rest of this section, make two copies of this chart and write the days in, so you can record for 2 weeks.

Charting

A whole chart looks confusing. But each specific square tells you something that is really quite simple. By keeping accurate records, you will be able to see changes that you otherwise might not notice.

Evaluate Progress

By looking at your chart week by week, you can answer important questions about whether you are toileting at the right times and stay on any new schedule for at least a week before changing.

WHERE TO BEGIN

When first toilet training your child, you should begin with bowel training. However, if your child has all his bowel movements in the toilet and your elimination records show he can wait 1.5 hours between urination times, then your child is ready to begin urine training.

USING REWARDS

You may want to refer back to the chapters on rewards, because rewards are very important for successful toilet training. At first, you should only require your child to do a small step, such as sitting on the toilet. You should reward her after she eliminates.

INDEPENDENT TOILETING

You are taking your child to the toilet according to schedule. When she is trained to the point that she does not have more than one accident a week, then she is probably ready to learn to go to the toilet on her own.

Learning All the Steps

Going into the Bathroom

1. Recognizing when he has to go
2. Waiting to eliminate
3. Entering the bathroom
4. Pulling pants down
5. Sitting on the toilet
6. Eliminating in the toilet
7. Using toilet paper correctly
8. Pulling pants back up
9. Flushing the toilet
10. Washing hands
11. Drying hands

Final Comments

This program is much easier to describe than to implement. Remembering a schedule and sticking with the program will lead to success.